I Improve In Misquotation.

I've Often Been Accused By Critics Of Being Myself On-screen. But Being Oneself Is More Difficult Than You'd Suppose.

To Succeed With The Opposite Sex, Tell Her You're Impotent. She Can't Wait To Disprove It.

When I'm Married I Want To Be Single, And When I'm Single I Want To Be Married.

If You Want To Be An Actor, My Advice Is To Learn Your Lines And Don't Bump Into The Other Actors.

The Only Really Good Thing About Acting In Movies Is That There's No Heavy Lifting.