I Haven't Really Ever Had To Audition

My Daughter Couldn't Care Less About Me Being Famous. She Finds It Revolting And, Like A Lot Of Teenagers, Is Virtually Allergic To Me. That Started At 12 And Hasn't Gone Anywhere Yet.

I Have Had The Unfortunate Experience Of Having Someone Write An Unauthorised Biography Of Me. Half Of It Is Lies And The Other Half Is Badly Written. My Feeling Is That If I'm Going To Write My Life Story, I Ought To Have My Life First.

When I Wrote 'dear Fatty,' I Realised That Sitting And Writing Alone Is An Absolute Joy.

I've Often Said The Most Difficult Things I Have To Say To People Through Humour. I Can Very Quickly Put Someone In Their Place With It. But We All Walk Away Unscathed Because There's Been Some Funnies Around It, And I'll Usually Make Sure That It Comes Back At Me.

People Need To Learn To Take Everyone As They Are.