I Love Fishing. It's Transcendental Meditation With

When I Was 12, We Went From Glasgow To Aberdeen On A School Trip. It Was Called Fresh Air Fortnight.

I Was Brought Up As A Catholic. I've Got A-level Guilt.

On George W Bush: That Man Sits At That Desk In The White House With The Button That Can End The World. My Father's Younger Than Him And We Don't Give Him The Controls For The Television.

Oh Aye...my Father Would Thrash Me Every Now And Then. He'd Talk While He Did It Too! He'd Hit Me And Shout, 'have Ye Had Enough?' Had Enough? Whit Kind Of Question Is That? 'why, Father, Would Another Kick In The Balls Be Out Of The Question???'

Paddy Was In The Delivery Room When The Midwife Handed Him A Black Baby. "is This Yours?" She Asked "probably" Said Paddy "she Burns Everything Else"