Don't Work Out, Work In.

A Woman's Mind Is As Complex As The Contents Of Her Handbag; Even When You Get To The Bottom Of It, There Is Always Something At The Bottom To Surprise You!

I Think Comedy Is Difficult, And I'm Amazed So Many People Want To Do It. I'll Be Buying Jeans And Somebody Will Say, "i'm A Comedian" - The Guy Selling You The Jeans. The Desire To Be A Comedian Is Weird. I Found It Weird Myself To Want To Be One; I Was A Schoolboy When I Wanted To Be One But I Didn't Know How To Do It. That Was 50 Years Ago, So Times Have Changed Greatly. There Seems To Be A Long Line Of People Desperate To Do It And Most Of Them Are Quite Good.

Did Your Mother Never Tell You Not To Drink On An Empty Head?

I'm A Big Fan Of The Mars Bar Diet. You Don't Eat The Mars Bar, You Stick It Up Your Arse And Let A Rottweiler Chase You Home.

In Mexico, Everything On The Menu Is The Same Dish. The Only Difference Is The Way It's Folded.