I Have A Time Machine At Home.

Saying, 'i'm Sorry' Is The Same As Saying, 'i Apologize.' Except At A Funeral.

To Look Like You Are A Real Sports Fan, When There Is A Game On Tv Just Yell, Oh, Come On! Every Now And Then At The Tv.

If You Are Wearing A Bandana You Better Have Something Wise To Say, Because You Are Starting With A Credibility Deficit.

Clowns Have No Respect For Pie.

I've Often Liked A Girl, Made Her Laugh, And Thought She Liked Me, And Then Found Out That She Didn't Like Me That Way. I've Definitely Done Time In The Friend Zone.