I Have A Lot Of Pot Tendencies.

Every Dude In Here Has Had A Fantasy About Jessica Simpson. Here's Mine: Jessica, Hold Your Sister Ashlee So I Can Kick Her In The Throat.

I Gotta Quit Smoking, Doctor's Orders, And The Drinking, Court Orders.

What's The Two Things They Tell You Are Healthiest To Eat? Chicken And Fish. You Know What You Should Do? Combine Them, Eat A Penguin.

You See A Guy With One Leg, He's Got A Story. "land Mine '69." You See A Guy With One Arm, He's Got A Story, Too. "snow Blower, Bottle Of Whiskey." You See A Guy With One Tooth, What Would The Story Be? "well, Uh, I Like A Lot Of Taffy."

Sparklers Are The Gay Cousins Of The Fireworks Family.