I Have A Few Cavities. I Don't

I'm A Mumbler. If I'm Walking With A Friend, And I Say Something, He Says, "what?" So I Say It Again, And He Says, "what?" Really, It's Just Some Insignificant Stuff I'm Saying, But Now I'm Yelling, "that Tree Is Far Away!"

I Like To Wear A "do Not Disturb" Sign Around My Neck So That Little Kids Can't Tell Me Knock-knock Jokes. "hey, How Ya Doin'? Knock-knock." "read The Sign, Punk!"

I Hate Flossing, I Wish I Just Had One Long Curvy Tooth. They Didn't Have To Make Separations For Me.

When You Put Listerine In Your Mouth, It Hurts. Germs Do Not Go Quietly.

Has Anyone Seen Me On Letterman? Two Million People Watch That Show And I Don't Know Where They Are. You Might Have Seen This Next Comedian On The Late Show, But I Think More People Have Seen Me At The Store. That Should Be My Introduction. "you Might Have Seen This Next Comedian At The Store," And People Would Say "hell Yes I Have!"