I Am Probably A Pseudo-intellectual.

I Don't Drink Anymore For Cinco De Mayo. I Celebrate With Mexican Food, Or As It's Known In Mexico: 'food.'

My Mother Was Tickled And I Think Kind Of Proud When My Father Got Hit On My An Attractive Middle-aged Asian Lady Who Hadn't Noticed He Was With His Family. He Was Certainly Pleased About It.

The Virus In The Movie 'contagion' Is Based On The Bird Flu Which Came Out Of Nowhere Back In 2008. Everyone Thought It Was Going To Change The Way We Live And It Just Faded Away. Wait A Minute, I'm Talking About President Obama.

The Devil Is Not Abroad At Night In The Form Of A Cat Or A Wolf Or Any Other Animal. He Lives Eternally In The Hearts Of Men.

Occasionally, When I Lived In London, I Would Have Sex With A Girl From An Aristocratic Family. I Always Enjoyed Doing To Them What Their Ancestors Did To My Country.