I Hate Decaffeinated Coffee. It's Useless Brown

Holyfield Won The Fight. It's Not The First Time Romney Has Been Knocked Out By A Black Guy.

I Love The Protests. And If You Think About It, What Better Way To Send A Message To Wall Street Than By Sitting In A Pup Tent Banging On A Drum.

Once You're President, You Can't Go Anywhere Without Causing Trouble. President Obama Shows Up In China, He's Chewing Gum, They Go Crazy. A Big Stink Because The President's Chewing Gum. And You Think, The Chinese Are So Easygoing About Human Rights. What's The Problem?

How About That Oil Slick In The Gulf Of Mexico. And You Know, The Oil Slick Is Going Everywhere. So The Next Time Somebody Lands On The Hudson, It Won't Be That Big A Deal.

The White House Is Saying Donald Trump Has 'zero Percent Chance' Of Being Elected. Isn't That A Little High?