I Hate Decaffeinated Coffee. It's Useless Brown

The Catholic Church Has A Tough New Policy On Child Molestors: Three Strikes And You're A Cardinal.

I Just Heard George W. Bush's New Plan For Airline Security. From Here On Out, Every Plane Will Now Have Its Own Hockey Dad.

President Obama Is In China. Also In China Is Evil Russian Dictator Vladimir Putin. They're Both In China At The Same Time. It's Like Running Into Your Ex-girlfriend On Vacation.

It Looks Like President Bush Will Be Handing Over Power To The Iraqis By June 30th. That's Amazing And Not Only That, But It Looks Like He'll Be Handing Over Power To The Democrats By November 2nd.

Nothing, Believe Me, Nothing Is More Satisfying To Me Personally Than Getting A Great Idea And Then Beatin' It To Death.