I Had A Dog That Was So

Experts Say That If We Go To War With Iraq, Oil Could Reach As Much As $80 A Barrel. Of Course, After The War It Will Be Free.

Give A Man A Fish And He Will Eat For A Day. Teach A Man To Fish And He Will Eat For A Lifetime. Teach A Man To Create An Artificial Shortage Of Fish And He Will Eat Steak.

A Number Of Plastic Surgeons Are Claiming That Looking At John Kerry Now, As Opposed To A Few Months Ago, They Believe He's Had Botox Shots. They Claim A Number Of His Worry Lines Have Vanished. They Haven't Vanished, Just Howard Dean Is Wearing Them Now.

President Obama Was In India Yesterday Visiting Our Jobs. Tomorrow He Goes To China To Visit Our Money.

President Bush And Bill Clinton Both Agree That Cloning Is Morally Wrong. Clinton Said That He Thinks Humans Should Be Made The Old-fashioned Way - Liquored Up In A Cheap Hotel Room.