I Had A Dog That Was So

This Is A Strange Country We Live In. When It Comes To Electing A President, We Get Two Choices. But When We Have To Select A Miss America, We Get 50.

Iraq Began Destroying Those Missiles They Don't Have Over The Weekend. See, President Bush May Be The Smartest Military President In History. First, He Gets Iraq To Destroy All Of Their Own Weapons. Then He Declares War.

Jesse Jackson's In Trouble. They're Going After This Tax Thing. Jesse Said He Will Amend His Taxes To Show The Money That He Paid To His Mistress. See, He Has Just One Mistress. Jesse Uses The Standard Mistress Deduction. As Opposed To Clinton, Who Had To Itemize.

A New York Doctor Has Finished A Five Year Study On What Smells Have The Biggest Effect On New Yorkers. The Smell New Yorkers Like The Most: Vanilla. The Smell New Yorkers Like The Least: New Jersey.

Today, One Year After Their Divorce, Pamela And Tommy Lee Announced They're Getting Back Together. You Know What That Means? There's Still Hope For Ike And Tina Turner.