I Grew Up On Radio, Not Tv.

If You Put A Van Halen Album In Your Record Collection, It Will Melt All The Rest Of Your Records.

Money Can't Buy You Happiness, But It Can Buy You A Yacht Big Enough To Pull Up Right Alongside It.

Classic Van Halen Made People Want To Dance And F**k. Modern Van Halen Makes You Want To Drink Milk And Drive Foreign Cars.

If You Subtracted All Of The Great Artists Who Never Drank, Who Never Went To Excess, You Wouldn't Have Any More Art Left. What Kind Of Poem Are You Gonna Get Out Of A Glass Of Iced Tea?

I Knew Already When I Was Seven Years Old, That I Wanted To Be On Stage And Entertain People. I Sell Laughs. Here, You Got One For Free!