I Got Two Stools, In Case I

I Like Vending Machines, Because Snacks Are Better When They Fall.

Yeah, I'm Not Into Sports. If Someone Told Me I Had Athlete's Foot, I'd Say That's Not My Foot!

I Don't Think Stand-up Is Being Appreciated As Much As It Could Be And I Don't Think It Has For A Long Time. There's Some Great Stand-up Comics Who Come To A Town And If They're Not A Name, They Don't Attract A Crowd But In Reality There Are Brilliant People Out There.

If I Was A Mechanic And Someone Called Me And Said Their Car Would Not Start, I Would Say, "hey - Maybe A Killer Is After You!"

I'm An Ice Sculptor. Last Night I Made A Cube.