I Go From Stool To Stool In

People Always Ask Me, 'where Were You When Kennedy Was Shot?' Well, I Don't Have An Alibi.

If An Asteroid Is Coming Toward You, You Don't Have To Blow It Up. You Just Have To Slow It Down Long Enough For Our Country To Rotate Out Of The Way.

I Don't Have To Tell You Folks About Scuba Diving. So, That'll Save Some Time.

They Call Me Good Time Emo. Because I Love A Good Time! And My Name Is Emo.

I'm From Downer's Grove, Illinois. We Had A Blackout There The Other Day, But Fortunately The Police Made Him Get Back Into His Car Before He Got Too Far.