I Go From Stool To Stool In

I Ran Five Miles Today. Then, Finally, I Said, 'here, Lady...take Your Purse.'

The Nicest Present I Ever Got Was An Exploding Suppository.

When I Was 10, I Beat Up The School Bully. His Arms Were In Casts. That's What Gave Me The Courage.

When I Went To College, My Parents Threw A Going Away Party For Me, According To The Letter.

I Asked My Girlfriend, 'will You Marry Me?' She Said, 'we'll Have To Ask My Father.' So We Had A Seance And Jack Ruby Says, 'hello!'