I Go From Stool To Stool In

I've Been At Stand-up 26 Years Now: After A While, You Get As Jaded As The Proverbial Gynecologist Who No Longer Enjoys Drugging And Violating His Patients.

The Scots Are A Very Tough People. They Have Drive-by Headbuttings. In Glasgow A Sweatband Is Considered A Silencer.

Santa Fe Is Fun To Visit, But Property There Will Cost You An Arm And A Dillo.

How Many People Here Have Telekenetic Powers? Raise My Hand.

People Always Ask Me, 'where Were You When Kennedy Was Shot?' Well, I Don't Have An Alibi.