I Go From Stool To Stool In

When I Was Ten, My Family Moved To Downer's Grove, Illinois. When I Was Twelve, I Found Them.

I Used To Be Scared Of Pretty Girls, Until One Confessed They're Just As Scared Of Me.

You Should Get Married. When I Was Younger, I Was Into The Fame And Fortune, And Now I Realize That A Loving Wife And Happy Children - That's Life's Greatest Consolation Prize.

My Grandmother's Brain Was Dead, But Her Heart Was Still Beating. It Was The First Time We Ever Had A Democrat In The Family.

I Think My Ex-girlfriend Has Weekly Lessons With The Devil On How To Be More Evil. I Don't Know What She Charges Him.