I Go From Stool To Stool In

I Took My Grandmother To The Emergency Room. The Doctor Said That She Was On An Artificial Life Support System, And That Although Her Brain Was Dead Her Heart Was Still Beating. I Though, "we've Never Had A Democrat In The Family Before".

A Friend Of Mine Gave Me A Philip Glass Record. I Listened To It For Five Hours Before I Realized It Had A Scratch On It.

I Got A Letter From The Irs. Apparently I Owe Them $800. So I Sent Them A Letter Back. I Said, If You'll Remember, I Fastened My Return With A Paper Clip, Which According To Your Very Own Latest Government Pentagon Spending Figures Will More Than Make Up For The Difference.

Whatever Happened To The Good Ole Days, When Children Worked In Factories?

My Sister Just Had A Baby. We Can Have Company Over. She'll Be In Front Of Everyone With Her Um... Breast... Out Feeding It. You Know... Cereal Or Whatever.