I Get Paid For What Most Kids

I've Had Great Success Being A Total Idiot.

From 1936 On, I Have Taken More Falls Than Any Other 20 Comedians Put Together. From The Time I Was 21, I've Taken Them On Everything From Clay Courts To Cement To Wood Floors, Coming Off Pianos, Going Out A Two-story Window, Landing On Dean, Falling Into The Rough. You Do That And You're Gonna Have Problems.

When I Hit Around 65, 66, I Started To Feel Tremendous Worth And Incredible Personal Esteem. I Was Becoming Very Cognisant Of My Contribution To The American Spirit Of Helping Your Fellow Man And All Of The Good Stuff.

For Those Who Understand, No Explaination Is Needed...for Those Who Don't, None Will Do.

You May Catch More Flies With Honey Than Vinegar, But You'll Get Them To Work Harder If You Use A Flyswatter.