I Get Paid For What Most Kids

Comedy Is A Man In Trouble. And Without It, There's No Humor.

It'll Keep You Alive For Another 10 Years If You Get Yourself A Laugh Once A Day: Either Provoke It, Or Look Around In The Wildest Laboratory In The World, The Public.

If I Found The Cure For Dystrophy Tomorrow, I Would Do A Telethon In Four Weeks For Acute Pain That In This Country Is A Bigger Problem Than Cancer, Heart, Sickle Cell, Anemia, Name It. It Is - It's Hitting 70 Million Americans.

Don't You Understand How Dramatic It Is To Be A Comic? To Be A Fool, To Get People To Laugh At This Show-off? Milton Berle Could Take Laurence Olivier And Stick Him Under The Table If He Wanted To. And So Could I.

Every Man's Dream Is To Be Able To Sink Into The Arms Of A Woman Without Also Falling Into Her Hands.