I Gave My Wife A Kiss This

What's The Difference Between My Wife And A Terrorist? You Can Negotiate With A Terrorist.

So I Rang Up British Telecom, I Said 'i Want To Report A Nuisance Caller', He Said 'not You Again'.

A Traffic Policeman Stops Sister Bridget For Speeding. She Pulls Into The Side Of The Road And Winds Down Her Window. The Officer Walks Round And Starts Undoing His Fly. "oh Dear," She Says, "not The Breathalyser Again."

Doctor Told Me I've Got Two Weeks To Live. I Said: "can I Have The Last Week In July And The 1st Week In August?"

An Englishman, Irishman And Scotsman Were Invited To A Christmas Party. The Englishman Brought A Bag Of Tinsel, The Scotsman Brought A Bag Of Holly And They Asked The Irishman: "what Have You Brought?" He Said: "i Brought A Pair Of Knickers." They Asked: "what Has That Got To Do With Christmas?" He Said "they're Carol's."