I Feel Like Soundtrack Music Is Almost

Aspirin Will Not Bring Dead Hookers Back To Life.

I Have A Lot Of Pot Tendencies. I'm Always Late, I Laugh For No Reason, I Watch Jeopardy! With The Sound Off And Make Up My Own Questions.

I'm Very Romantic When I Masturbate. Sometimes I Light A Candle...then I Try And Shoot It Out. It's Like A Carnival.

My Day Jobs... I Knew I Was Bad At Those, So I Didn't Really Have The Confidence To Think That I Could Do Comedy. But I Knew I Hated The Day Jobs.

I Went Skiing Today, Too, Yeah. I Didn't Wanna Go. The Girl I'm Stalking Wanted To Go, So... I'm Not Kiddin!