I Drink Too Much. The Last Time

Once I Opened Up A Fortune Cookie And Inside Was The Guy's Cheque Next To Me I Said Hey Buddy I Got Your Cheque He Said Thanks.

Life Is Full Of Temporary Situations, Ultimately Ending In A Permanent Solution.

Last Week I Was Walking By A Cemetery, Two Guys Came After Me With Shovels. It Was All About Money.

To Me, Viagra Is The Same As Disneyland. You Wait An Hour For A Two-minute Ride.

I Told My Wife The Truth. I Told Her I Was Seeing A Psychiatrist. Then She Told Me The Truth: That She Was Seeing A Psychiatrist, Two Plumbers, And A Bartender.