I Don't Want To Be A Pessimist.

If Nobody Is Clear On What You're Protesting, It's Not A Protest. Thousands Of People Gathered In London This Week To Voice Their Disapproval Of The G-20. Their Basic Message Being, Stop All Your Globalizing And Unite The World!

That Mitt Romney, He Is A Master Campaigner. This Week He Was Introducing His Wife, And He Said, 'she Is The Heavyweight Champion Of My Life.” Which May Explain Why On The Ride Home, He Was Strapped To The Roof Of The Car.

Next Week John Boehner Will Be Sitting Behind Barack Obama At The State Of The Union Address. I Think Obama Should Purposely Try To Embarrass Him By Telling The Story Of 'old Yeller.' The State Of Our Union Is Strong, But Not So Good For One Special Dog.'

A Lot Of Good Has Come From Drugs. I Think 'penny Lane' Is Worth 10 Dead Kids. Dark Side Of The Moon Is Worth 100 Dead Kids. Because A Lot Of Kids Wouldn't Even Be Born If It Weren't For That Album, So It Evens Out.

Your Taxes Are Due A Week From Today. You Can Make Out Your Check Directly To Halliburton. Or You Can Do What I'm Going To Do. I'm Filing My First Joint Return. No, I'm Not Getting Married, I'm Sending The Irs An Actual Joint With A Note That Says, 'if You Think I'm Paying For This War, You Must Be High.'