If It Weren't For Acid, You Might

Again, (america Is) A Stupid Country With Stupid People Who Don't Pay Attention.

Doctors Said That The Test Most Commonly Used To Screen For Colon Cancer Doesn't Go Far Enough. They're Recommending A Procedure That Involves Photographing The Entire Colon. I Say, Don't Vie Cbs An Idea For Another Reality Show.

New Rule: Tulips Aren't Flowers. They're Some Kind Of Gay Onion.

It's A Good Time To Say "oh" And Take Stock And Say, "gee, How Was I Ethically This Year?" That's The Problem With Faith, Joe. What It Does Is It Kind Of Screws Up Your Priorities. Your Priorities Shouldn't Be Saving Your Own Ass, Which Is The Focus Of Christianity. The Focus Should Be, I'm A Good Person, And I Do That Just For The Sake Of Being Good. Like The Christmas Song Says, "be Good For Goodness' Sake."

In New York, Catholic Groups Have Forced An Art Gallery To Shut Down An Exhibition Of A Six-foot Image Of Jesus In Chocolate. So, The Archbishop Of New York Was Very Upset. He Said, 'it Is Appalling To Make Jesus Out Of Food! Now, If You'll Excuse Me, I Have To Go Bake Some Communion Wafers.'