I Don't Want A President Like Me!

When I Become President, All You Assholes That Ride Bikes In The City? Lock And Load! You're Going Down!

Having Dealt With A Lot Of Real Firefighters, I Know There Are A Lot Of Guys Who, For Lack Of A Better Term, Become Addicted To The Grief Because It Has Kept Them Connected To These Guys That They Felt Responsible For Having Lost.

One Thing That's Great About Firefighters: If They Don't Have The Equipment They Desperately Need, They Don't Have The Help, They Don't Care. They'll Do It On Their Own.

My Biggest Regret In Life Is That I Didn't Hit John Denver In The Mouth While I Has The Chance.

Sometimes I Park In Handicap Spaces While Handicapped People Make Handicapped Faces.