I Don't Think Wood Was Discovered In

Italian Women Are Some Of The Most Beautiful In The World. This Is Why The Vatican Is In Italy. If A Man Can Walk Across Italy And Retain His Celibacy, He's Got What It Takes To Be A Priest - Or An Interior Decorator.

Al Qaeda Has Declared War On The Somali Pirates. That Is Awesome! Evil Against Evil. Like Alien Versus Predator Or Cheney Versus His Lawyer.

This Is My First Week As An American Citizen. It's Amazing. Now I Can Vote In The General Election - And For American Idol.

If It Doesn't Work, At Least It Will Be An Interesting Train Wreck.

Well, Everyone, Welcome To Shark Week. Oh That's On Cbs And There's Been A Lot Of Cutbacks, So It's Just Friday Night For A Couple Of Minutes. And We Don't Have Any Sharks, Just An Immigrant With A Puppet. Hey, But It's A Start!