I Don't Remember Ever Being Full Of

I Have Been Commissioned To Write An Autobiography And I Would Be Grateful To Any Of Your Readers Who Could Tell Me What I Was Doing Between 1960 And 1974.

Oh, To Me Not Drinking Is Like Being Dead, Almost. I Sit Here Taking Endless Journeys Down Memory Lane. It Gets Boring.

I Enjoy Doing Nothing.

My Misdeeds Are Accidental Happenings And Merely The Result Of Having Been In The Wrong Bar Or Bed At The Wrong Time, Say Most Days Between Midday And Midnight.

A Lot Of Girls Annoy Me Who Go To University - One Girl Told Me She Was Going To Oxford Because It Was Something To Do Between Leaving School And Getting Married. And I've Got To Pay For That Being An Income Tax Payer.