I Enjoy Doing Nothing.

Women Should Have Labels On Their Foreheads Saying, 'government Health Warning: Women Can Seriously Damage Your Brains, Genitals, Current Account, Confidence, Razor Blades, And Good Standing Among Your Friends'.

Oh, The Self-importance Of Fading Stars. Never Mind, They Will Be Black Holes One Day.

The Only Reason I Would Have Liked To Have Gone To University Is Because I Like Cricket. Not A Very Good Reason To Want To Go, But As Good As Any, I Suppose.

One Way To Stop A Runaway Horse Is To Bet On Him.

My Misdeeds Are Accidental Happenings And Merely The Result Of Having Been In The Wrong Bar Or Bed At The Wrong Time, Say Most Days Between Midday And Midnight.