I Don't Really Have A Lot Of

I'm A Pretty Boring Guy. Compared To Ashton Kutcher, I Live A Really Boring Existence.

There's No Male Oprah.

I Tried Eating Vegetarian. I Felt Like A Wimp Going Into A Restaurant. "what Do You Want To Eat Sir? Broccoli?" Broccoli's A Side Dish, Folks. Always Was, Always Will Be, Ok! When They Ask Me What I Want, I Say: What Do You Think I Want? This Is America. I Want A Bowl Of Raw Red Meat Right Now.

My Only Worry About Tweeting And Modern Technology Is How It Has Crept Into Even The Darkest Corners Of The Absolute Global Village We Live In.

I Would Have To Commit A Crime And Have Cops Chase Me. That Would Be The Only Way To Get Me To Jog Five Miles.