I Don't Need To Be Born Again.

Their Offense Is Shakier Than Katherine Hepburn After An All-night Espresso Bender At Starbucks.

Ouch! And Marino Goes Down Quicker Than His Boonesfarm-infused Sister In The Back Of My '68 Cutlass On Our First Date After Watching 'love Story' At The Drive-in.

Teresa Lewis, The Only Woman On Death Row In Virginia, Says She Doesn't Deserve The Death Penalty Because She Only Hired The Killers Of Her Husband And Stepson, She Didn't Actually Pull The Trigger Herself. You Know, She Has A Point. I Think We Should Let Her Be Able To Hire The Person Who Executes Her, And Not Do Yourself In! How's That, Doll? Yeah! Get It Over With Quick, Maybe Charlize Theron Will Sign Up To Play You.

You've Got Bad Eating Habits If You Use A Grocery Cart In 7-eleven.

I Have The Distinction Of Speaking To You From One Of The Few Countries That Still Has A Communist Party.