I Don't Like A Tremendous Amount Of

Gravity”: “it’s The Story Of How George Clooney Would Rather Float Away Into Space And Die Then Spend One More Minute With A Woman His Own Age.

You've Got To Experience Failure To Understand That You Can Survive It.

It Is Less Dangerous To Draw A Cartoon Of Allah French-kissing Uncle Sam — Which, Let Me Make It Very Clear, I Have Not Done — Than It Is To Speak Honestly About [working Moms].

You All Have Got To Stop Calling Each Other Sluts And Whores. It Only Makes It Okay For Guys To Call You Sluts And Whores.

Luxury Cruises Were Designed To Make Something Unbearable (a Two Week Transatlantic Crossing) Seem Bearable. There's No Need To Do It Now, There Are Planes. You Wouldn't Take A Vacation Where You Ride On A Stage Coach For Two Months But There's All-you-can-eat Shrimp. You Wouldn't Take A Vacation Where You Had An Old-timey Appendectomy Without Anesthesia While Steel Drums Play. You Might Take A Vacation While Riding On A Camel For Two Days If They Gave You Those Little Animal Towels Wearing Your Sunglasses.