I Don't Know What My Assistant Would

My Name Is Zach Galifianakis And I Hope I'm Pronouncing That Right. I'm Named After My Granddad, My Middle Name. My Name Is Zach Granddad Galifianakis.

My Stand-up Is More Like How I Am In Real Life. I Don't Really Do A Character Thing In Stand-up. It's Just A Bunch Of Sentences That Are Supposed To Be Funny.

I Watch A Happy Person Doing Stand-up, And I Go, "what The Hell Is This? This Person's Happy!" You Need Internal Conflict. You Need The Guy To Be Out Of Step With Society. It's A Tool For Comedy.

You're Not Supposed To Be Accepting Trophies. You're Supposed To Be In The Back Being Mad That People Are Getting Trophies.

You Save 15 More Minutes Of Sleep If You Are A Man And You Don't Have To Shave.