I Don't Know If You Want To

I Don't Want To Be A Spokesman For Family Values, But That's The Way My Standup Is Perceived.

I've Had People Say To Me, 'look At The Sky, The Fields, The Ocean, The Beautiful Sunset. Isn't That Proof Positive Of God?' Following That Line Of Thought, Look At The Magnificent Rainbows After A Big Rainstorm. Isn't That Proof Positive That God Is Gay?

I Love Hitting Into The Rough Because It Gets Me Close To The People.

I Came From An Italian House. The Refrigerator Was Always Full. I Never Knew You Had To Buy Food. I Thought There Were Food Fairies That Came At Night.

I Have This Mistress: Show Business.