I Don't Do One Show And Wish

I've Always Got Stuff In My Head In Case I Meet Somebody Like Steven Spielberg Or Someone Like That, Where I Can Hopefully Say Something To Them That Nobody Else Has Ever Said And Get A Laugh Out Of Them.

I Always Thought I Was Going To Die Before I Was 60.

When I Did Comic Relief, I Did It To Be On The Show; It's A Badge Of Honor As A Comedian To Do That Show.

Isn't It Amazing That The Germans Call Their City Halls 'rat Houses'? That's What We Should Call Our City Halls!

I'm Not A Good Lover, But At Least I'm Fast.