I Don't Do One Show And Wish

Just Because A Guy Has A Shaved Head, Pierced Nipples, And Doesn't Have Sex With Women Doesn't Make Him Gay. It Just Makes Him Down On His Luck.

The Easiest Diet Is, You Know, Eat Vegetables, Eat Fresh Food. Just A Really Sensible Healthy Diet Like You Read About All The Time.

I Wanted To Do A Show Based On What My Life Would Be Like If I Had Never Become A Comedian.

There's A Game Called Checkout Where There's Grocery Items And It's How Much You Think The Manufacturer's Suggested Retail Price Is And We Add Up Your Total, Then Your Total Has To Be Within $2 Of The Regular Total. I Don't Think I Could Ever Win That Game.

My Fans Are Pretty Normal, They Are Always Really Nice And Polite, And They Don't Interrupt My Meals.