I Don't Care If You're Gay, Black,

You Want To Talk About The Word Faggot Because It Really Offends You? Well You're A Douchebag.

Your Body's Really Only Meant To Compete At The Highest Levels Of Combat Sports For A Few Years.

My Company Is Called Talking Monkey, Inc. It's Because That's What I Think All People Are: Talking Monkeys.

When You're Standing Around For An Hour Doing Stand Up It's No Big Deal But When You're Standing Around Watching A Show For An Hour - It's A Big Difference. It's Annoying - Your Feet Hurt, Your Back Hurts - It's Just Not The Most Comfortable Way To See Stand-up Comedy.

If I Could, I Would Live In Houston, And I Would Encourage Any Comic Starting Out Looking For A Good Place To Develop To Move There.