If You Are The Greatest, Why Would

I Think Stand Is Better Now Than It's Ever Been. I Think It's The Greatest Time Ever To Do Standup Comedy.

My Act Is So Completely And Totally Uncensored That The Only Way I Could Really Pull It Off Is If I Treat The Audience Like They're My Best Friends.

If You Attach Your Mind To Any Ideology, You're Going To Be On A Road, And That Road May Or May Not Lead You In A Good Direction. But You're Gonna Stay On That Road Because You Are Attached To An Ideology. It Could Be A Terrible Road, But You Stick With It Regardless Of Rational Thinking.

You Could Smell My Ass From Mars.

Sometimes Faggot Is The Right Word. There's A Trend In This Country To Avoid Words: "we Can't Say That One Anymore It's Offensive."