I Do Think I Am Funny, Or

I Saw A Young Boy Eating An Ice Cream Cone, ... I Smashed It In His Face. You Know That Kid Is Going To Remember Me When He's 50.

I Want To Be Able To Challenge Myself. And Do Things That Are Away From What I Usually Do. Stand-up Is Safe For Me. I Can Do Stand-up In Front Of Twenty-five Thousand People, And I'm Like, "i Know How To Do This. This Is What I Do." I Want To Be A Little Scared.

I Love Hecklers. They Remind You That You Are A Comedian.

I Have Never Even Had A Sip Of Alcohol, Never Have Done Drugs. The Hardest Thing I Have Ever Done Would Be Pepsi.

The Problem With Dating A Model Is They Won't Go Out With You If Your Cars Color Doesn't Match Their Outfit.