I Do Like Talk Shows. I'm Interested

Isn't It A Little Racist To Call It Black Friday?

I Feel Bad For Young People. The 20s Are A Nightmare Also. The 20s Are Hard To Do.

It Seemed Like The Right Time. You Reach A Point When You Say To Yourself, ‘do I Want To Keep Doing This?’ There Are Other Things On My Plate I Want To Do — I’ve Been Writing A Play, I’ve Been Neglecting My Standup.

I Have A Friend Who Actually Told Me That She'd Rather Be Dead Than Be Fat. This Is A Woman Who, If I Order A Sandwich At Lunch, She'll Order A Salad. If I Order A Salad, She'll Order Half A Cantaloupe. If I Order Half A Cantaloupe, She'll Order A Cup Of Coffee. This Bizarre Contest Continues Until She's Down To Sucking On A Mint-flavored Toothpick. At This Rate, Her Preference For Dying Over Being Fat Could Be A Reality Sooner Than She Thinks.

Everyone Thinks I'm Jewish. I'm Not. Last Year I Got A Call: "happy Hanukkah." I Said "ma, I'm Not Jewish."