I Didn't Choose To Be The Guy

Whenever One Of My Children Says, 'goodnight, Daddy,' I Always Think To Myself, 'you Don't Mean That.

I Would Say I'm - In The Show, I'm A Cultural Catholic, Which Is What I Was.

Screaming. Did I Mention The Screaming? Screaming Is Usually Associated With Horror Films And Roller Coasters. This Is Why I Usually Look Like I've Just Watched A Horror Film On A Rollercoaster. Kids Love To Scream. Frightened, Happy, Bored. They Scream. I've Actually Learned To Love The Sound Of A Vacuum Cleaner. It's Just So Peaceful.

I Should Clarify That Anyone That Goes Onstage And Makes Strangers Laugh Is Insane. So I Am Insane.

I Kind Of Consider Myself... I Mean, I Try To Have My Comedy Be Accessible, And If People Are Paying $30 To See Me In A Theater And They Want To Have Their Picture Taken With Me, It's Not The End Of The World. It's One Of Those Things, Where I'm Not The Only Comic Who Does It. A Lot Of Comics Do It. If I'm Doing A 4,000-seat Venue, It Might Be A Little Bit Of A Different Task, But It's All Good.