I Didn't Choose To Be The Guy

I've Never Eaten A Hot Pocket And Then Afterwards Been, I'm Glad I Ate That. I'm Always Like, I'm Gonna Die.

I Know That Colbert Could Quote Thomas Aquinas And All This, But I'm Somebody Who, Because It's A Necessity For Me On A Personal Basis. I Need It Because I'm A Lunatic.

I Always Had This Romantic Notion Of Living In New York. I Just Felt Like, Everyone Could Be Different And Weird And Whatever They Are In New York.

The Amount Of Guilt You Deal With As A Parent Is Pretty Profound. It's A Constant Balancing Act. I'm An Ambitious Person, But When I Became A Father, Ambition Had A Different Hold On Me. Providing For My Kids Was Important, But The Superficial Ambition Drifted Away.

I Do Just Want To Do Jokes. I Don't Want To Be A Divisive Figure.