I Did Stand-up Comedy For Seventeen Years.

I Can't Relate To The Idea Of Suicide. I Guess I'm Just One Of Those People That Is Always Optimistic And Upbeat. But One Day, I Sat Down. I Said 'you Know What? Just To Kind Of Purge Myself, I Want To See What Its Like To Feel That Low'. So I Decided To Write A Suicide Note. Yeah, Just To Kinda Flush It Out There And Put It On A Page. And I Started To Do This, And I Had An Epiphany. I'll Share This With You: A Suicide Note That Is Written By Somebody That Is Not Suicidal Is Called An Autobiography. I Am On Chapter 58.

I Say It With My Tongue Firmly Planted In Cheek But There's Truth To It - Being A Comedian Is Very Close To Being A Therapist. When You're Working Smaller Clubs, You're Listening. You're Feeling An Energy, You're Going With A Tone But When People Start Yelling Out, You Almost Start A Conversation With People.

Hi, I'm A Buck Tooth And I Like To Be Outside Past The Lips.

I Don't Like Littering And I Think It Leads To Terrorist Activities.

I'm In A New Club, By The Way. And I Don't Know If You're First Timers Like I Am, But I'm In The 'i Just Dropped My Cell Phone In My Own Piss' Club. Have You Done That? Yeah, Good Times. I'm On The Phone And I Forget That I'm Using Shoulder Technique. Urinals Were Taken So I Went In To Use The Regular John. And As I'm Standing There, Mid-conversation, I'm Like 'are You Serious?' And It Just Started To Toboggan Right Down My Powerful Chest.