I Cook A Little Bit. I Make

Speaking Of Sleeping Bags, Has Anything Ever Had A Less Creative Name?

Then There's The In-between, Not A Lipstick Lesbian, Not A Butch Dyke. I Think That Is What I'd Be, A Sweatpants Lesbian.

My Mom Was On Welfare And The Occasional Food Stamp, But I Have Never Participated In Any Of Those Governmental Programs, Even The Ones That Kind Of Work Like Education, Scholarships And Whatever, And I Managed To Do Just Fine.

As I Said In My Last Book, Birds Are Mean. They're The Only Pet That, When They Escape, The Owners Are Relieved. You Can Tell A Species Is Evil By Doing This Simple Math. If My Blond Lab Molly Was The Size Of T-rex, That Would Just Mean More Kibble, More Work For The Gardener In The Backyard, And A Harder Time Moving Her To My Wife's Side Of The Bed At Night. If Birds Were The Size Of A T-rex, The Streets Would Be Littered With Human Remains.

If You Are Tuning In Just For The Show, You're Going To Be Sorely Disappointed.