I Can't Wait To Get Off The

Xylophone Is Spelled With An X. That's Wrong. It Should Be A Z Up Front. Next Time You Spell Xylophone, Use A Z. If Someone Says, "that's Wrong!", You Say, "no, It Ain't." If You Think That's Wrong, Then You Need To Have Your Head Z-rayed.

I Hate Sandwiches At New York Delis. Too Much Meat On The Sandwich. It's Like A Cow With A Cracker On Either Side. "would You Like Anything Else With The Pastrami Sandwich?" "yeah, A Loaf Of Bread And Some Other People!"

My Fake Plants Died Because I Did Not Pretend To Water Them.

I'd Hate To Be A Giraffe With A Sore Throat.

I'm A Hard Act To Follow, Because When I'm Done, I Take The Microphone With Me.