I Can't Tell A Joke To Save

I Never Regretted Turning Down Anything, I Never Regretted Losing A Job Because I Always Felt Something Else Was Out There.

My Interesting Diet Tips Are Eat Early And Don't Nosh Between Meals. I Mean, I Can Pack It Away.

Giving Birth Is Like Taking Your Lower Lip And Forcing It Over Your Head.

Daddy, When He Drank, Just Became Sweeter. There Wasn't A Mean Thought In His Body. I've Always Said He Was Like A Drunk Jimmy Stewart.

I Always Had A Weak Chin Because We Couldn't Afford To Correct My Bite, Which Could Have Been Corrected With Braces. So The Chin Was Always Weak. And I Always Was - Kind Of Hated My Profile. And I Thought Wouldn't It Be Nice Someday To Feel The Rain On Your Chin Without Having To Look Up.