I Can Get A Great Look At

I Was In The Pritikin Center In Santa Monica Once, Trying To Lose 30 Or 40 Pounds In A Month. I'd Work... On A Treadmill And With The Weights, But It Was Driving Me Nuts. So I Escaped. Tom Arnold Picked Me Up And We Went To Le Dome And Had Tons Of Desserts.

I Can Get A Great Look At A T-bone Steak By Shoving My Head Up A Bull's Ass But I'd Rather Take The Butchers Word For It.

I'm Just Dandy, I Got A Bowl Of Chocolate Pudding In My Underpants!

I Have A Tendency Toward The Pleasures Of The Flesh. It's A Battle For Me, As Far As Weight And Things Like That. But I'm Curbing Them Because I Want To Continue To Do Comedy, And The Two Don't Mix. So I Try To Fight Those Demons.

Once I Thought That If I Just Had Enough In The Bank, If I Had Enough Fame, That It Would Be All Right. But I'm A Human Being Like Everyone Else. I'm Not Exempt.