I Belong To No Organized Political Body.

The French Couldn't Hate Us Any More Unless We Helped 'em Out In Another War.

Now I Am Not Unpatriotic, And I Want To Do My Bit, So I Hereby Offer My Services To My President, My Country And My Friends To Do Anything, Outside Of Serving On A Commission, That I Can In This Great Movement. But You Will Have To Give Me Some Idea Of Where "confidence" Is. And Just Who You Want It Restored To.

The Theater Is A Great Equalizer: It Is The Only Place Where The Poor Can Look Down On The Rich.

The Way To Make Money In The Stock Market Is To Buy A Stock. Then, When It Goes Up, Sell It. If It's Not Going To Go Up, Don't Buy It!

George Bernard Shaw Of England Stopped Over Just Long Enough To Make One Speech In Bombay, India, Started A War And 100 Indians Killed Each Other. That's What I Call Good Speech-making. The Only Enthusiasm Any Of Our Speakers Can Rouse Is A Demand To Kill The Speaker.