I Am Wearing A Vest. If I

I Like To Hold The Microphone Cord Like This, I Pinch It Together, Then I Let It Go, Then You Hear A Whole Bunch Of Jokes At Once.

My Friend Said To Me, You Know What I Like? Mashed Potatoes. I Was Like, Dude, You Have To Give Me Time To Guess. If You're Going To Quiz Me You Have To Insert A Pause.

I Have An Idea For Sweatshops: Air Conditioning! That's Simple. 14 Year Old Boys Working Twelve Hour Days? "yeah, But They're Comfortable!"

I Had A Job Interview At An Insurance Company Once, And The Lady Said 'where Do You See Yourself In Five Years?' I Said, 'celebrating The Fifth Year Anniversary Of You Asking Me This Question!'

I Wanna Hang A Map Of The World In My House. Then I'm Gonna Put Pins Into All The Locations That I've Traveled To. But First, I'm Gonna Have To Travel To The Top Two Corners Of The Map So It Won't Fall Down.