A Lollipop Is A Cross Between Hard

When You're Doing A Show On Stage, And They Show You A Red Light, That Means You Have 5 Minutes Left. At Some Clubs, They Hold A Candle Up In The Back. That's The Worst Method. You're Up Here, And Then You See A Floating Candle. "oh, No! This Place Is Haunted!" I Can't Be Funny When I'm Frightened.

I Was Going To Get My Teeth Whitened, But I Said, "i'll Just Get A Tan Instead."

P.s. - This Is What Part Of The Alphabet Would Look Like If Q And R Were Eliminated.

If You Can't Sleep, Count Sheep. Don't Count Endangered Animals. You Will Run Out.

I'm Always On The Road, And I Drive Rental Cars. Sometimes I Don't Know What's Going On With The Car, And I'll Drive For Ten Miles With The Emergency Brake On. That Doesn't Say A Lot For Me, But It Doesn't Say A Lot For The Emergency Brake. What Kind Of Emergency Is This? I Need To Not Stop Now. It's Not Really An Emergency Brake, It's An Emergency Make-the-car-smell-funny Lever.