I Am The Very Model Of A

Love, Unrequited, Robs Me Of My Rest: Love, Hopeless Love, My Ardent Soul Encumbers: Love, Nightmare-like, Lies Heavy On My Chest, And Weaves Itself Into My Midnight Slumbers!

Merely Corroborative Detail, Intended To Give Artistic Verisimilitude To An Otherwise Bald And Unconvincing Narrative.

I Am The Very Model Of A Modern Major General

When A Felon S Not Engaged In His Employment, Or Maturing His Felonious Little Plans, His Capacity For Innocent Enjoyment Is Just As Great As Any Honest Mans.

If You Give Me Your Attention, I Will Tell You What I Am: I'm A Genuine Philanthropist--all Other Kinds Are Sham. Each Little Fault Of Temper And Each Social Defect In My Erring Fellow Creatures, I Endeavor To Correct.