I Am The Very Model Of A

Oh, I Am A Cook And A Captain Bold, And The Mate Of The Nancybrig, And A Bos'sun Tight, And A Midshipmite, And The Crew Of The Captain's Gig!

I Am The Very Model Of A Modern Major-general, I've Information Vegetable, Animal, And Mineral, I Know The Kings Of England, And I Quote The Fights Historical, From Marathon To Waterloo, In Order Categorical.

Merely Corroborative Detail, Intended To Give Artistic Verisimilitude To An Otherwise Bald And Unconvincing Narrative.

In All The Woes That Curse Our Race There Is A Lady In The Case.

Oh, Don't The Days Seem Lank And Long When All Goes Right And Nothing Goes Wrong, And Isn't Your Life Extremely Flat With Nothing Whatever To Grumble At!