I Am Taking The Applause Sign Home,

We Resort, Frankly, To Pies, Which Is A Comedy Staple That's Gone Back, I Guess, To Since The First Pie Was Ever Baked.

Democracy Means That Anyone Can Grow Up To Be President, And Anyone Who Doesn't Grow Up Can Be Vice President.

Adults Ask Questions As A Child Does. When You Stop Wondering, You Might As Well Put Your Rocker On The Front Porch And Call It A Day.

I Play My Life Straight - The Way I See It. I'm Grateful To Audiences For Watching Me And For Enjoying What I Do - But I'm Not One Of Those Who Believe That A Successful Entertainer Is Made By The Public, As Is So Often Said.

I Think It's Almost Immoral To Keep On With A Marriage That's Really Bad. It Just Gets More And More Rotten And Vindictive And Everybody Gets More And More Hurt. There's Not Enough Honesty About Marriage, I Think. I Wish More People Would Face The Truth About Their Marital Situations.