I Am Taking The Applause Sign Home,

Audiences Have Proved Time And Again That They Don't Want A Steady Diet Of Any Entertainer Airing His Social Views - Especially If He's A Comedian.

In Hollywood If You Don't Have A Shrink, People Think You're Crazy.

Happiness Is Discovering The Prune Juice Your Doctor Ordered You To Drink Has Fermented.

I'm An Entertainer; I Try To Give The Public What It Wants While I'm On The Screen, And I'm Completely Sincere About It. If I Don't Happen To Be A Laughing Boy Off The Screen, That Doesn't Make Me A Hypocrite Or A Phony.

I Know A Man Who Gave Up Smoking, Drinking, Sex, And Rich Food. He Was Healthy Right Up To The Day He Killed Himself.