I Am Not Retiring. Writers Don't Retire.

The World Must Be Filled With Unsuccessful Musical Careers Like Mine, And It's Probably A Good Thing. We Don't Need A Lot Of Bad Musicians Filling The Air With Unnecessary Sounds. Some Of The Professionals Are Bad Enough.

Before A Kid Learns How To Use A Computer That Can Solve Mathematical Problems, He Or She Should Know How To Do Arithmetic Without A Computer.

The Dullest Olympic Sport Is Curling, Whatever 'curling' Means.

The Last Birthday That's Any Good Is 23.

Bacon Is Clearly A Food Made By The Nazis To Fatten Up Americans. It Has No Nutritional Value, Is Full Of Fat, Sodium, And Nitrates, And Is A Pathetic Type Of Consumable Made From The Noblest Of Creatures.