I Am Not Retiring. Writers Don't Retire.

Great Teachers Are Usually A Little Crazy.

Dogs Are Nicer Than People.

Yes, We Praise Women Over 40 For A Multitude Of Reasons. Unfortunately, It's Not Reciprocal. For Every Stunning, Smart, Well-coiffed, Hot Woman Over 40, There Is A Bald, Paunchy Relic In Yellow Pants Making A Fool Of Himself With Some 22-year Old Waitress. Ladies, I Apologize. For All Those Men Who Say, "why Buy The Cow When You Can Get The Milk For Free?", Here's An Update For You. Nowadays 80% Of Women Are Against Marriage. Why? Because Women Realize It's Not Worth Buying An Entire Pig Just To Get A Little Sausage!

Civilization Means Conforming To A Standard Of Behavior That May Not Seem Natural To Us.

Democrats Believe People Are Basically Good But Must Be Saved From Themselves By The Government. Republicans Believe People Are Basically Bad But They'll Be Okay If They're Left Alone.