I Am Not Retiring. Writers Don't Retire.

One Of The Things We Can Be Sure Of Over The July 4th Weekend Is That News Reports Will Keep Telling Us How Many Of Us Are Going To Die In Automobile Accidents.

It Would Be A Better World If Everyone In It Knew All The Truth About Everything.

Democrats Believe People Are Basically Good But Must Be Saved From Themselves By The Government. Republicans Believe People Are Basically Bad But They'll Be Okay If They're Left Alone.

Bacon Is Clearly A Food Made By The Nazis To Fatten Up Americans. It Has No Nutritional Value, Is Full Of Fat, Sodium, And Nitrates, And Is A Pathetic Type Of Consumable Made From The Noblest Of Creatures.

Let's Face It, Though, Anything That's Apt To Happen To An Appliance Like A Blender Isn't Covered By The Warranty Anyway, So I Never Send Them In. If It Breaks, I'll Buy A New One. That's The American Way.