Omaha Is A Little Like Newark, Without

If You Don't Want Gays In The Military, Make The Uniforms Ugly.

There Is Not One Female Comic Who Was Beautiful As A Little Girl.

God Always Comes Up With A Third Act Twist -- And We Won't Know Until We Die Whether The Play Was A Comedy Or A Tragedy.

I Am A Dyke! And I'm Damn Proud Of It!

I Started My Career In A Town So Small The Local Clinic Was Called Fred's Hospital And Grill.