Omaha Is A Little Like Newark, Without

When A Man Has A Birthday, He Takes A Day Off. When A Woman Has A Birthday, She Takes At Least Three Years Off.

My Grandson Is Mad At Me. He's Mad At Me Because I Squandered His College Fund On Spanx. It's A Lot, But There's A Lot Going On Here.

Life Is A Movie, And You're The Star. Give It A Happy Ending.

I Am Not Lucky. I Am The Type Who Would Go To Lourdes And Drown In The Waters.

Boy George Is All England Needs. Another Queen Who Can't Dress.