I Am Descended From A Very Long

My Mother-in-law Must Be The Probation Officer I Got For The Crime I Committed Of Marrying My Husband.

Isn't My Fur Stole Pitiful? How Unsuccessful Can A Girl Look? People Think I'm Wearing Anchovies. The Worst Of It Is, I Trapped These Under My Own Sink.

I'd Love To Slit My Mother-in-law's Corsets And Watch Her Spread To Death.

It Would Seem That Something Which Means Poverty, Disorder And Violence Every Single Day Should Be Avoided Entirely, But The Desire To Beget Children Is A Natural Urge.

I Was The World's Ugliest Baby. I Have Photos Of My Folks Leaving The Hospital With Sacks Over Their Heads... I Asked My Mother How To Turn Off The Electric Fan. She Said 'grab The Blade!