I Am Billed As A Humorist, But

Three Million Alligators Were Killed In Florida Between 1880 And 1900. Goody!

If A Cat Does Something, We Call It Instinct; If We Do The Same Thing, For The Same Reason, We Call It Intelligence.

During His Fifteen Years In Italy, Hannibal Never Had Enough Elephants To Suit Him. Most Of The Original Group Succumbed To The Climate, And He Was Always Begging Carthage For More, But The People At Home Were Stingy. They Would Ask If He Thought They Were Made Of Elephants And What Had He Done With The Elephants They Sent Before.

[footnote:] The Dotterel Weighs Only Four Ounces. It Has Long Been A Scientific Riddle How So Much Wrong-headedness Can Manage To Exist In So Small A Space. Still, There's The Least Gnatcatcher.

Ah, Well! We Live And Learn, Or, Anyway, We Live.