I Am A Thespian Trapped In A

I Think There's A Percentage [of The Audience] That Don't Realize, That Don't Know That [standup] Is How Everything Began. We Planned It, We Work Hard, Rehearsals To Get This. It's More Of A ... It's Not Just Coming In There In A T-shirt And Holding A Microphone.

I Like Pixie Sticks. Yeah, Screw The Middle Man. Just A Tube Of Sugar... I'd Pour Two Of Those In A Big 12 Ounce Coke. And I'd Go Out To Catechism Class And Try To Concentrate On The Priest. I Saw Jesus Several Times. I Swear I Did.

Playing Golf Is Like Going To A Strip Joint. After 18 Holes You Are Tired And Most Of Your Balls Are Missing.

As The Chinese Will Tell You, History Depends On Your Point Of View.

There Are Flaws In The Way Politics Is Reported In This Country Today And We Should Do Something About It, .. Radio And Television Coverage Of Politics Doesn't See Its Role As A Mission To Explain, But To Destroy, In A Pernicious Culture In Which Journalists Pit Themselves Against Politicians.