I Always Wanted To Be A Snake.

Sometimes Sex Is Just A Way To Escape Having To Talk To That Person.

After You Have Loss In Your Life And After You Experience Something Like Losing Your Parents, The Greatest Gift Of That Was It Prepared Me For [anything]. Nothing Else Is As Scary, And Certainly Stand-up Comedy Is Not As Scary As Sitting There With Your Mom And Having To Have Last Conversations And Things Like That. It's Heavy Stuff, But It's Enlightening Because It Makes Me Think I Shouldn't Be Afraid Of Sharing Ideas And Thoughts With People. It's The Yin And The Yang Of Life.

What Am I Supposed To Say To An Atheist When He Sneezes, Ah, When You Die Nothing Happens.

If You Think Your Demeanor Is Mellow Or Not Particularly Charismatic, The Material Can Life You Higher. So Write Everyday, And Get Onstage Or In A Coffee Shop Where They Are Doing Open Mice, Anywhere You Can Perform Even If That Means Starting Your Own Open Mic Night - And Be Your Own Self.

Drive, Ego And Cocksureness Are All Essential Elements In Terms Of Getting Exactly What You Want But Losing Everything You've Got.